words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
