I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
