My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize