Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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