well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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