where am i from again
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
