So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
