Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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