"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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