the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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