Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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