doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
