is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
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I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
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I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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