it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
