I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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