Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
