Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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