There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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