How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
