The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
