I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
