had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
