Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
