oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
