I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize