In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
last night I used snow as a chaser
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
