I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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