I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
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