The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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