You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
