my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize