It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
