The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
please come you make the beer taste better
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize