batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
