you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
