I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
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I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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