nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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