I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
