I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
