I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
