if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
