You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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