yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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