You smell like stripper and shame
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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