drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize