My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
