Ambien. No doubt about it.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
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