Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
