I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize