U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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