break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
