I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
