we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
