I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
