i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize