There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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