I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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